Dustin and I are having a GroeneBABY!!!
After a little bit of a struggle and testing of our faith, which you can read about here and here, we are officially 7 weeks pregnant. YAY!!!!!!! The picture above is from our Dr’s appointment yesterday where we saw the heartbeat for the first time.
Just a little flicker on a monitor and it means our whole world has changed forever.
There is a verse that is close to my heart for all those who are going through what we experienced. I hope it encourages you today.
“What a wonderful God we have-he is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the source of every mercy, and the one who so wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials.
And why does he do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us.”
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
God is so faithful.
I just read that Ryan Adams married Mandy Moore. Mandy frickin’ Moore. This better not change the love-sick, depressing music I have come to love from Ryan Adams. How can an artist continue writing about love and loss after getting married? I had the same fears when Chris Martin married Gwyneth Paltrow. Coldplay’s music was little less heart-sick with love and a lot more political. I do like the songs that are about Chris Martin’s kids, those are so great.
Well, congrats you two love birds. Hopefully this will make Mandy Moore’s music more credible and not make Ryan Adams’ less.
A tall girl with a short guy. I like that.
I am by no means a “world traveler”. I have yet to go to Africa, Iceland or Israel, all places that I really want to visit and experience. One thing I do have is England. Living in England put an anchor in my heart and I am always dreaming of going back. Maybe not to live, although I would love that, more realistically just to visit and cure the little homesick feeling I get when I think too much about it.
As most know, Dustin and I met in England while in YWAM. We were not allowed to “date” since he was a leader and I was a student (which was actually the only rule we had). There was a very special day that we and 2 other students took a little road trip to an amazing place called The Seven Sisters. We packed a picnic and drove a few hours to the coast of the English Channel where the rolling hills drop into the sea. We walked in open green fields, past fluffy sheep and short pony’s. We ate our packed lunch on the rocks next to the water then hiked up to the top and looked over the cliff’s edge. When I remember it it feels the same as remembering a really good dream. Where most of the details are foggy, but the impression of the moment is so strong. Or like a memory that you only really remember from seeing the pictures you took. One detail that I do remember is Dustin secretly grabbing my hand as we walked behind our friends. We just looked at each other on that pebbly beach and saw our whole future ahead of us.
I find myself dreaming of white, chalk cliffs, a wooden bench and a cup of tea. I am learning to absorb the feeling of a far-off desire rather than push it away in fear of disappointment. I hold on to these precious memories and look forward to the future ones to be made.
Until then I just keep daydreaming…
Hardships bring depth, and long-suffering brings faithfulness. Those are 2 pretty important things in marriage. Too many marriages are thrown away due to a lack of long-suffering, quitting when times get tough. Some people reading this may personally know me, you have seen my marriage first hand and you might think that is easy for me to talk about “long suffering” because I am happy in my marriage. The joy people see in public is from the trials we have endured in private, we have felt frustrated and discouraged, but Christ is sufficient. He is the one who fulfills. He is the one who heals. He is the one who works in us to be new, whole and pure. Through Him we can have everything we have ever wanted in marriage. Without Him we will never have what we want in marriage.
I am having a hard time writing on my blog as of late. There are so many things that are heavy on my heart and unfortunately are too personal to type into a blog for just any ol person to read and know about me and possibly blackmail me with. When things are on a girls mind it is impossible to switch them off and move on to other things. They just sit and simmer, waiting for some kind of change, some kind of breakthrough and a hope for some control. I think that until some of these boiling pots in my life cool down I won’t be able to just post the same old silly stuff as I usually do. Until that time here is a poem about fall, by me.
Yellow leaves, sleepy bees
Orange and red trees
Blankets, cheese and kisses
Blue above, grey deep down
Animals, walks, and adventures with you
When to say no, when to say yes, let go and find joy
Eye lashes, pink cheeks, and a plum scarf on a windy day
Babies, weddings, prescriptions, promises, needing You
Inspire assurance in what I hope for, and give me room to breathe.
I have loved this summer. I have made incredible friendships, laughed really hard, had some late nights, ate me my fair share of pancakes, enjoyed Rockies games, concerts, art shows, and pool time with a few good books and a fabulous husband.
I love summer. We are 3 days away from September officially marking the end of long, warm nights and walks around the pond with our bug zappers. It means the door is closed on all those camping trips, road trips and hikes we talked about. No more Sonic or star gazing in the damp grass. It means sweaters, hot chocolate and turning 25. The cold makes everyone anti-social, they all run inside and go to bed early.
Don’t forget me when the sun sets at 5 o’clock.
Filed under fall is beginning, I love my husband, i saw a tornado, in my opionation, life questions, love and marriage., my husband loves me, my opionion does matter, Nerd Alert!, rockin' out, sad stuff, summer is ending, the poet in me
Today me and Dustin are celebrating 4 years of being married and 5 years of being in love. I came in to my office this morning to find a huge, amazing bouquet of sunflowers, a CD he made for me, and a card that he made with “The Little Prince” on it. ( when I met Dustin in England we read The Little Prince to each other every night before we went to bed) I have the best husband ever. I don’t deserve all the love he gives me.
| The Fox and the Little Prince
it was then that the fox appeared.
"good morning" said the fox.
the little prince responded politely
altho when he turned around he saw nothing.
"I am right here" the voice said, "under the apple
"who are you?" asked the little prince, and added,
"You are very pretty to look at."
"I am a fox", the fox said.
"Come and play with me,"
proposed the little prince, "I am so unhappy."
"I cannot play with you," the fox said,
"I am not tamed."
"AH please excuse me,"said the little prince.
But after some thought, he added:
"what does that mean---'tame'?"
"you do not live here," said the fox,
"what is it you are looking for?"
"I am looking for men," said the little prince.
"What does that mean---tame?"
"Men,"said the fox,
"they have guns, and they hunt.
It is very disturbing.
They also raise chickens.
These are their only interests.
Are you looking for chickens?"
"No," said the little prince.
"I am looking for friends.
What does that mean---tame?"
"It is an act too often neglected,"
said the fox.
"It means to establish ties."
"To establish ties?"
"Just that," said the fox.
"to me, you are still nothing more than
a little boy who is just like
a hundred thousand other little boys.
And I have no need of you.
And you, on your part, have no need of me.
To you I am nothing more
than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes.
But if you tame me, then we shall need each other.
To me, you will be unique in all the world.
To you, I shall be unique in all the world. . ."
"I am beginning to understand,"
said the little prince.
"My life is very monotonous," he said.
"I hunt chickens; men hunt me.
All chickens are just alike,
and all the men are just alike.
And in consequence, I am a little bored.
But if you tame me,
it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life.
I shall know the sound of a step that will be
different from all the others.
Other steps send me hurrying back
underneath the ground.
Yours will call me, like music out of my burrow.
And then look:
you see the grain-fields down yonder?
I do not eat bread.
Wheat is of no use to me.
The wheat fields have nothing to say to me.
And that is sad.
But you have hair that is the color of gold.
Think how wonderful that will be
when you have tamed me!
The grain, which is also golden,
will bring me back the thought of you.
And I shall love to listen
to the wind in the wheat. . ."
Here’s to 5 years of love and the hundreds more to come.
Dustin and I are celebrating our 4 year anniversary this week, yes we have been married for four years! Yesterday Dustin surprised me with 2 tickets to The Police and Elvis Costello show at Red Rocks.
A big thanks for Mark and Judi for the tickets-the show was completely sold out. We love you guys!!!
Sorry no pictures of The Police. My camera is just not capable of taking pictures at night, or far away, or close up or clear. If anyone would like to buy me a new camera, I would greatly appreciate it.
One last word: I am so sorry, Teresa, that you were not there with me to see Elvis and The Police. You deserved to see them way more than I did.
I have survivors guilt.
I am pretty frustrated by the limbo/lingering that i have been experiencing over the last couple months. SO many things in my life are unsure and out of my hands and I HATE that!!! I literally feel like i am bending backwards scooching bit by bit and my back is killing me!! If you are not picking up on the obvious analogy by now then you are just sad.
This morning i took a pregnancy test. it was negative. taking those things are so weird, they really mess with your head. It is not like the pregnancy test makes you pregnant, either you are or you aren’t, but it almost feels that way. you think you know how you will feel when you see the result window. sometimes i think i am not ready and will be relived it is negative-really this is me preparing myself not to take it too hard if it is negative- only to find that i am SO disappointed when i actually see only 1 line. I have never experienced any other result, so I am guessing I will feel happy and excited when it is positive, but who really can tell. It is life changing stuff, man. You never know your reaction. I took the test (aka peed on the stick), then took a shower while my test was being graded. I stood in the shower thinking to myself, “what if the test is positive? These would be my last few minutes as Kate, just married Kate, not MOM Kate. Am i ready for that?”
Pretty scary stuff, folks.
One day that test will say positive…. one day it WILL be Mom Kate.