I am Kathryn Marie Groeneman. I am 24 years old. I am 5’6″. I have green eyes. I weigh about 10 pounds more than I would like to, but don’t we all? I have short, stubby eyelashes that no matter how much mascara I put on they never reach a full, voluminous stature. I have not so much creamy-white skin as pasty and dull. I am legally blind without my contacts. I eat pretty unhealthy, “kate, too much pasta!”. When I was about 10 I became aware of “ME”. This person that people (at the time) called Katy. I knew about where I stood in the recess-soccer rating, which was top of all the other girls. I was aware of my standing in the spelling-bee, about middle. I knew that in some areas I was special and I was proud of that. In some areas I was below-average and was painfully aware of that. Then I became 16. Things were not so simple, I was called KT then. There were so many more areas to be ranked and measured: clothes, body type, grades, friends, sports, cars, boyfriends. I knew that in some areas I was “ahead” of others, but it was rare and never brought much comfort. It was a terrible time of hating myself and never feeling good enough. It was a foggy, unhappy mess for about 4 years. Now I am Kate, I am no longer in the rat race called High School, I am 24… almost 25, married and even could have kids in the next couple years. I am finally proud of who I am and the person that I have grown to become. Even when I embarrass myself, which happens almost daily, or screw up big-time, I don’t hate myself or wish I could be anyone but myself. I have found out that I am a really great person. Someone that I am proud to be. The really ironic thing is that more than ever in my life I see the flaws that i carry, the temptations that I can’t shake and those dark, ugly places that are scary when revealed. But this is who I am. This is me, in her fabulous entirety. I am better than I was yesterday. I am growing, loving and changing.
I am finally proud.