When the world has fallen out from under me

One of my closest friends lost her Dad early this morning, it was very sudden and came in a complete whirlwind. Death is such a familiar stranger. We all understand one day it will take place in our own bodies, and even wonder in what form it will take. We also understand that each person we are close to, talk to, love, hate, and connect to will die. Death is definite. Even with knowing this about ourselves and others death still feels so sudden and foreign, it feels strange and impossible. When I was 18 my best friend’s dad died in a horrible car accident with her looking on one car behind. This was the first real experience of death and facing it with a friend. About 2 weeks later another one of my best friends dad’s died unexpectedly during surgery. These 2 experiences, and now Teresa’s as well, has given me a deep fear of losing my dad. I know that one day it will happen, whether it is from old age, warm in his bed next to my mom or sudden and violent. We were not meant for this world, and if anyone walks in that understanding it is my dad. I know he has no fear of death, he welcomes heaven and eternity with his Savior. But I am still a child in my limited understanding and even feel at home here in this body and in this world. I have been given a comfortable environment full of relationships, a career, all my “things”, my family, my amazing husband. I fool myself into thinking all these things are forever, that all the people I love will remain on this earth with me forever. I fear what death could steal from me. And with every new important relationship I let in, this fear grows. My heart hurts so deeply for Teresa. I can feel only what my heart is empathizing with and even that brings me to tears. The enormity of her loss is the very fear that I live with and never want to experience. Jesus help me to lay down the fear of death and pick up the appreciation for life in every area. To never take for granted or grasp too tightly to the things of this world, including the shell that we call bodies that hold the ones I love.

Teresa wrote an amazing post on her blog last night before he dad past away, PLEASE READ IT and LEARN from it. No More Wasting Time

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3 Comments

Filed under aiming at heaven

3 responses to “When the world has fallen out from under me

  1. Thanks for being real about this. I too have a deep fear of losing people I love. Teresa is amazing and I learned something from her today.

  2. punkin19

    Eventually, everything will be okay. I’m in that same boat with you sista! Thanks for opening my eyes today. And if you ever need a hug or if Teresa needs a hug. PLease let me know.

  3. teresap

    kate, thank you so much for this post. it feels so honoring to me and my dad. i love you a ton and am blessed to have you in my life.

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