worst puppet skit ever

In my profession as a Children’s Pastor I occasionally search for puppet skits online. The other day I came across the worst puppet skit ever written. At first it may not seem very bad to you, but believe me when the script has the phrase “devilish” actually written in it you know you have found a stinker, and this (as John McCain would say) “My friends” is a stinker.

Please be so kind to read then take the poll at the end.


THE SCENE IS A SCHOOL PLAYGROUND. A BASKETBALL HOOP MAKES A
            GOOD BACKGROUND PROP. TWO BOY PUPPETS, MR. STEAK AND MR.
            CHICKEN ARE FIGHTING OVER THE BASKETBALL. MR. STEAK FINALLY
            PULLS THE BALL AWAY FROM MR. CHICKEN.  
 
                                MR. CHICKEN
                      That's not fair! It was my turn to make 
                     a basket!
 
                                MR. STEAK
                      Even if it was your turn, you never make
                      it through the hoop. You're the worst
                      basketball player ever!
 
                                MR. CHICKEN
                      I'm going to tell Mrs. Potato that you're
                      being a mean...and you're very, very,
                      very devilish!
 
                                MR. STEAK
                      Mrs. Potato won't believe you because I'm
                      her favorite student and you're nothing
                      but a wimpy loser. You're weak and thin
                      and the girls all laugh at your poor
                      hygiene. Go ahead and tell everybody how
                      I was mean to you! I'll be a hero!
 
            Mrs. Potato sneaks up behind Mr. Steak and hits him with a
            stick over the head. Mr. Steak is knocked out and Mr. Chicken
            grabs the basketball.
 
                                MRS. POTATO
                      I heard what Mr. Steak was saying about
                      you and you shouldn't believe a word of
                      it. No matter what your physical
                      attributes, Jesus loves you very much and
                      He will always be there for you.
 
            Mr. Steak wakes up and rubs his head. Mrs. Potato, once
            again, knocks him out with the stick.
 
                                MR. CHICKEN
                      But doesn't Jesus know how wimpy I am?
                      Doesn't He know that I lie to my parents
                      about brushing my teeth?
 
                                MRS. POTATO
                      Jesus knows all about your physical
                      inadequacies and He doesn't care! Don't
                      you know that Jesus paid special
                      attention to special people like you?
 
                                MRS. POTATO
                      That's the great thing about Jesus!
 
                                MR. CHICKEN
                      Then I love Jesus and accept Him into my
                      heart as my Savior!
 
            Mr. Steak gets up and cowers in front of the stick-wielding
            Mrs. Potato. Mrs. Potato takes the basketball away from Mr.
            Chicken and gives it back to Mr. Steak.
 
                                MRS. POTATO
                      Here you go, Mr. Steak. You need to
                      concentrate more on sports and less on
                      being devilish to your friends.
 
                                MR. CHICKEN
                      But I wanted to shoot baskets!
 
                                MRS. POTATO
                      Your talents lie elsewhere, young Mr.
                      Chicken. Come with me and we'll talk
                      about what it's like in Heaven.
 
                                MR. STEAK
                      Thank you, Mrs. Potato! I learned a
                      lesson today that even though I'm
                      physically better off than Mr. Chicken
                      will ever be, that Jesus loves us all!
 
                                MRS. POTATO
                      Go shoot some baskets, you rascal! You're
                      still my favorite student, even though
                      you need a little discipline now and
                      then!
 
                                MR. CHICKEN
                      Don't I need discipline too, Mrs. Potato?
 
                                MRS. POTATO
                      No, little Mr. Chicken, you are far too
                      frail and weak. You're no threat to any
                      one or any thing.
 
            Mrs. Potato and Mr. Chicken exit the stage. Mr. Steak shoots
            a basket and the ball goes in perfectly.

A couple of things to consider before taking the poll:
  • The names of the characters are Chicken and Steak. What the heck?
  • Apparently Mr. Chicken is a loser and even the abusive teacher thinks so.
  • The script says that the “ball goes in perfectly”. What kind of fancy puppets do they have that can use their hands and shoot baskets?

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6 Comments

Filed under Nerd Alert!, right?, sad stuff, stuff I don't like, Take the Poll!

6 responses to “worst puppet skit ever

  1. confession: when I was young, I was a taken to a scary place called a ‘sound booth’ and told to read scripts, I was a voice over for awful children church puppet skits all over this country….I never got reimbursed for that come to think of it…at least I never had to show my face.

    (seriously..this happened!!)

  2. it lost me when the characters were named mr. steak, mr. chicken and mr. potato.

  3. steve

    ZOMG! I wrote that skit!!! 😉

  4. seanmichaelbrage

    I like that the resolution was to knock out the belligerent via blunt force trauma to the head.

  5. thatgirlkate

    @ kate- I bet you had a great puppet voice! I can just imagine your little kate voice being with a puppet mouth, so cute!

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