Dustin and I were at dinner with our friend Chris the other night and Chris mentioned a great thought on his walk with Jesus as being “fire or water”. Since last week I have thought a lot about this idea. It brings certain images or word pictures to my mind and really challenged me to look at the place I am currently in.
Fire. I know what fire feels like. I remember the first time I ever felt real fire in my heart. I consider it the time that I really received Christ into my life. I was in Jr High and all I wanted was to know Jesus. I finally understood after years of Kid’s Church who this Jesus was and the fact that he died for me. I remember wearing T-shirts that said “girl for God” and listening to Delirious: King of Fools over and over. I just simply loved Jesus. I loved Him so much. Those were such sweet, simple, innocent years. High School had not crept in yet, everything was fun and easy. There was a passion that was new and so precious. Jesus and I both look at that time with such fondness. I have had fire since then, here and there. Times of passion and power, but none as poignant as those first years.
Water. I am currently in water. Some days I feel sick from bobbing up and down, other days I feel like I might be going under or being swept out to sea. There are days when waves of hope and joy wash over me cleaning me from resentment and fear. But I don’t have fire. Can the two co exist? I don’t know. The water I am in is deep, I look down and see dark figures from my past just beneath the surface. I can’t quite make them out, but I know the Holy Spirit is calling me to be brave, to open my eyes and look. To be set free. As ominous as this scenario sounds, I feel such a peace. I know that I am not alone. I feel Jesus just as close to me now as I did in the times of Fire and I know that what He has promised me will be mine.
I was taught faith in the fire to make it through the water, and when my time of fire comes again I will be ready.