Dustin and I had an amazing conversation today about what we are both learning (with help from the Holy Spirit and Celebrate Recovery). Dustin was explaining how all his life he thought if he could just take care of sins, maybe not every sin, but at lease some, then he could lessen the weight that would hinder a closer walk with God. Like heavy stones tied to our necks, we drag ourselves along, hoping for some relief and an easier walk with Christ. In this struggle there is lack of true relationship with Christ. We try to tell ourselves it is all FOR the relationship, but the truth is it is all for perfection. We want the perfection so we can enjoy the relationship. We want to feel worthy to be called into unity with such a holy, perfect Lord. We want to feel justified and the only way to do this is to be rid of all sin, to somehow accomplish being sin-free, on our own.
We (or maybe I) have confused perfection with relationship. I have thought, this is all for YOU Jesus. My hearts desire is to be like you, to be a worthy vessel. I want the CONTROL of perfection, I want to be in charge of the steps of reaching this “perfection”. Instead Christ is calling us to join Him in the process. The process of looking at these past hurts, the past really bad choices and offenses; seeing how they effect my everyday decisions that ultimately lead to everyday sins. HE says to us, “let Me be in charge of the process. Let Me free you from the bondage of perfectionism. Let Me heal you from the past and establish your future.”
A process is about: relationship, unity, teamwork, honesty, setting and achieving goals, growing together, learning together, going deeper together.
Perfectionism is about: isolation, frustration, exhaustion, anger, resentment, an unattainable goal.
God is asking me, us, to surrender the perfectionism. Submit to the process and let Him reign over the changes and character adjustments that need to be made. He is asking for relationship. He is asking for honesty. He is asking to be let in.
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”