I am a weirdo and my cat is a sicko.

I am a bundle of contradictions. I want harmony but I find myself picking unnecessary fights. Why do I care if someone doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day or hates cats? I want to encourage people but I become judgmental and short. I want to have friends, see people, be social, but I make up excuses to not go out and stay home to hide. I call people back hoping I get their voicemail. I make plans and promises only to break them a couple days later.  I admire people who are patient and soft spoken, like Marie from my C.R. group. She is long-suffering and I can’t imagine anyone really annoying her. I, on the other hand, am brash and easily tripped up. There are days where every living thing annoys me. Why do I care if a person has terrible taste in music or that some people pronounce libRary libarry?

Today in our staff meeting, we were talking about a family who is going through a really hard time. My heart was feeling only mercy for them, really wanting things to change for them, but somehow those feelings traveled to my mouth and came out as judgmental and almost mean. I don’t understand it. It’s like two people live inside me, one is sweet and tenderhearted, the other is rude and impatient. Watch out, because lately it’s a gamble at which one you’ll get.

In other news- my cat drinks out of the toilet. Look at this sicko.

cat_on_a_hot_tin_toilet2

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5 Comments

Filed under aiming at heaven, funny ha ha, i am feeling feisty., i love cats. so what?, in my opionation, life questions, more like Him, right?, sad stuff, stuff I don't like

5 responses to “I am a weirdo and my cat is a sicko.

  1. Stephen Tafoya

    Wow,… that was like looking into my own heart and mind! I am the same way about things so I guess that just goes to say, you’re not alone in those contradictions… One thing that has been helping me overcome the negative is Joel Osteen’s book, Becoming a Better You. It really helps you understand the root cause of things and really helps you reassess your viewpoints and actions toward yourself and others. The biggest one I’ve learned is that criticism that comes out is usually based off the root of jealousy by that critic… Criticism (negative that is) usually has nothing to even do with the person being criticized… it’s the critic’s own jealousy or frustration. That has helped me as both someone who receives criticism a lot and some who is known to criticize!
    Crazy, I guess your post actually shows ME that I’m not alone in these feelings and contradictions!

  2. Mary Hendrickson

    you and me are more alike than we realize… and so are our cats (middens is caught in the act often). 🙂 i love you. thanks for sharing your heart. i really wanna talk soon, k!

  3. “So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.” Rom 7:21

    Word. Know you are not alone, perhaps this affliction of thought is even worsened when we struggle with the very things we seem to judge other for… that has been my experience.
    Now I must go work on a plank 😉

  4. i think that’s at the nature of who we are, just as the scripture Archie quoted says. we have our sinful nature and then our new creation. i think they battle with each other.
    i do the same things. i make commitments and hope something happens so i don’t have to keep them. i make phone calls hoping for voicemail. i hide out in my house like a hermit, as the world passes me by. i isolate myself but long for companionship, friendship. we are all in some ways duplicitous. and i admire your courage to admit it. not all of us can or will admit this about ourselves.
    and my dog drinks out of the toilet. this is what separate us from the animals. that and opposable thumbs.

  5. wow. I read this and you could have totally been talking about me! (except i don’t have a cat, and my dog is too little to drink out of the toilet) No worries, I think we all struggle with saying nice things and not judging. and I don’t think that anyone ever gets it 100% of the time, maybe its about being aware and always working towards it 🙂 (and sometimes I pray that I get the voicemail, lol)

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