it’s just me-kate

i carry with me a unique family tapestry that includes a smart, loving husband, a beautiful sister and her mountain-man husband, a respected, cherished father and a brave mother.
i carry with me treasured secrets and unwanted concerns.
i carry days at disneyland, picnics, hot dogs, our roller racer and a burned knee from a hot bbq.
i carry with me colorful fireworks, my dad’s fishing lessons, spinning in the sun, yellow slip-n-slides and laughing really, really hard.
i carry with me a pink a-framed house, mix tapes and zac’s trampoline.
i carry summer evenings at clement park and memorials in the rain.
i carry dead flowers in my locker, notes passed in class; being 16 and feeling not good enough.
i carry with me being 23 and not feeling good enough.
i carry with me times of being mocked for being true, and a need to feel heard.
i carry my best friends tears from that day, and our life shaping conversations.
i carry with me weary buttons and an antique bicycle.
i carry stories of forgiveness and knowing how to let go and love anyway.
i carry insecurities and sometimes jealousy, jeans that are too tight, and hair that is not quite ever what i was hoping for.
i carry with me a cat dressed up in a tuxedo, so perfectly handsome, shades of blues and greens and a fan to help me sleep.
i carry sun-rise mornings in england, hummingbirds and lilies. i carry a tall tree with our names carved in it, long walks in the garden, “blankets” and a first kiss on a wooden bench.
i carry with me laughter and long nights at the jolly tanner and the treacherous walk back home.
i carry with me a small leather bible, a gift for my adventure.
i carry with me brave moments and the train station in amsterdam.
i carry wineglasses, lip gloss and honey on everything.
i carry unanswered questions, stolen moments, things-on-my-mind and deep sighs.
i carry with me noes to things that i should have said yes.
i carry with me un-seen vulnerability and un-filled parts.
i carry with me a phone full of people who i need to call back. i carry books that need to be read, weights that need to be lifted, a bed that needs to be made, laundry that needs to be done, a car that needs gas, a fridge that needs milk, and

a bathtub that is calling my name.

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10 responses to “it’s just me-kate

  1. shelleyjones

    It’s the first time I’ve read this and I wish I’d read it sooner. You just cracked a sweet smile on my sad face today.

  2. Mr. Grizwold

    Katy, (sorry i cannot call you Kate)

    You are a freakin’ poet seriously. This was really cool, it made me think of some great memories, clement park, Starbucks, “the bean”, i do not ever remember cats in tuxedos, but would have loved to see that. I would think that the cats would be way to big for the tuxedos, or at least your cats.

  3. Hey Kate! I want to email you but I don’t have your email! Kate said we should talk and I am excited! Email me if you would like:-) ashleydmarble@gmail.com

  4. tullip

    I so love all the things that you carry with you!!!

  5. ashley larrison

    you look awsome

  6. ashley larrison

    hey that just wowed my day

  7. This is beautiful 🙂

  8. ashley larrison

    Congratulations!!!!!!! I hope that all goes well and I will pray that you and the baby will be healthy throughout this time and there will be nothing wrong with the baby he/she will be healthy and beautiful and will take after you.Again CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Does this happen to be the writer formerly known as Kate Bangs, who contributed to The Ankeny Briefcase?

    If so, she should contact me at jordangreen@gmail.com.

  10. 1 yr 6 mo 1 day ago… I met you and then you shared this site with me. I hope you start up again with your amazing adventures with your beautiful beautiful baby!

    It was so nice seeing you and the family this weekend!

    Best wishes,
    Daniel

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