Category Archives: I love my husband

I’m a music box and you’re the song inside.

I haven’t blogged very much since finding out I was pregnant. The thoughts and feelings are so deep and so many that I haven’t even known where to begin. This morning I woke up remembering what lies ahead in the day–boy or girl?? I finally sat down and wrote out some thoughts that I’d thought I could share. It’s an intimate glimpse, but one that I think you could appreciate.

How will it all look? How will I handle the hard times? Can I love enough-deep enough? Can I be devoted enough? Can I sacrifice enough? Will the good truly outweigh the bad? Will the lack of sleep drive me to distance myself from others? Will my wonderful, perfect marriage become dull and full of daily chores and exhaustion?

Will I lose a sense of myself-the young me, the artistic me, the adventurous and a bit crazy me? Will it all be taken over, like some alien abduction where I return as a “Mom”, robotic and set in a routine?

No amount of planning, praying and waiting could have possibly answered these questions. They are deep and surrounding.

It’s all been an idea of a baby-a concept. On paper it all seemed so simple. I just want a baby. Now all I really know is that I am almost 15 pounds heavier, it looks like I have a globe of the world stuck under my shirt and I can barely roll over in bed at night. It’s become a mystery, like looking into a deep ocean and seeing shapes of what lies just beneath the surface. Even when I look to others who have gone ahead of me in this craziness, I still feel a vagueness about the whole thing. No amount of books or friends can make me feel “ready”.

In about 2 hours we will find out if you are made of sugar and spice or snails and puppy dog tails. It will be another step in the reality of YOU. A person, not an idea or an event to plan for. A person with dreams, with hurts, fears, desires and accomplishments. A person who will be brave, loving, full of questions and unspoken hopes. You will grow, you will explore. You will struggle. You will be unpredictable. You will love Jesus. Your daddy will be your hero and your best friend will be Ripley. You will fish with grandpa, you will take walks with grandma. You will be spoiled by Aunt Mary and go camping with Uncle Henry. You will taste fruit and climb mountains. You will play in piles of yellow leaves and splash in puddles after rain storms. You will scrap your knees and find comfort in my arms.You’ll laugh and splash in the bath and I’ll wrap you up in a towel with your little wet head poking out. You will be the most loved, the most cherish, the most beautifully perfect-and you will be all mine.

I want the world for you, my baby. And no amount of questions or fears will ever change that.

I can’t wait to meet you.

btw- you are a BOY!!!

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Filed under aiming at heaven, BABY, I love my husband, Life and Marriage, life questions, music, So it begins...

Las Vegas Pics! (finally)

The Strip.

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We stayed at THEhotel at Mandalay Bay. We each got suites, a little upgrade action thanks to Judi slippin’ the check-in lady a twenty. Seriously.

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thehotel_hallway

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The pool

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Our cabana by the lazy river- special thanks to Mark and Judi.

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The Coca Cola Store-Bear and I have never laughed so hard in our lives. That Judith can really tell a joke.

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Under water adventures at the Shark Reef!

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Finding the courage to reach out and touch the stingray.

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My husband was brave and put aside all thoughts about Steve Irwin.

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Pretty, pretty jellies.

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The Bellagio

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Looking (sorta) normal next to the Bellagio fountain…but then…

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THE FOUNTAIN TURNED ON!!! YYAAAA!!!

Lots of other stuff happened, but I hate being the trip photographer, so those events are not documented. Sorry! Guess you’ll have to just imagine me dominating the roulette table and taking the old men for all their money at Poker.

What a great trip.

::sigh::

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Filed under BABY, I love my husband, my friends., rad shizzz, right?, rockin' out

Where is Kate and Dustin, you ask?

Oh, we’re just here-

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Staying here-

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Relaxing here-

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With these 2 people-

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That’s all. NBD.

Be back Thursday, ya’ll!!

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Filed under BABY, groupies, I love my husband, my friends., rad shizzz, right?, rockin' out

my husband wrote a blog!

Dustin wrote for our church’s 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting blog. It’s awesome. 

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:29-31)

I don’t know if your childhood was as surreal as mine; growing up as a pastor’s kid seems to set you up for a parade of odd characters to march through your life.  And many of your recollections of the tender years have a curious, unreal quality.  As I reflected on Isaiah’s words above, my mind drifted to one such recollection.

As a tot in Children’s Church, I was pretty convinced that God was real and Jesus loved me, etc. and many of my fellow church-going chums felt the same.  The folks in charge, however, seemed to never truly feel confident that we understood their message.  They suspected, I think, that we children nodded our heads and clapped our hands and gave clever answers in order to get candy. This wasn’t completely untrue.  For whatever reason, church seemed to have mountains of the sweet stuff, generously dished out for good behavior or bright answers.

I see now that these pastors and teachers wanted us to know more than simple answers to get candy.  They were trying to connect us to the loving God of the universe; a God with a personal and profound plan for our little lives.  And that is why they invited huge men to come to our Children’s Church to break things.

Now, I wasn’t a large boy, and so these men with necks like oak trees and biceps like beach balls seemed to me like something from a nightmare. They simply marched in, muscles bulging, matching singlets glistening, and immediately started smashing things.   Wood planks, cinderblocks, phonebooks, hot-water bottles…anything was fair game for these purveyors of mayhem.  And one of them would get on the microphone and plead with us children to pray for these men as they did things our mothers would never let us do. I mean to say, if I were to come home from school one day, greet the family, pet the dog, and then begin mashing stacks of bricks with my elbows…my mother would have destroyed me.

But this was power of an untamed sort. These fellows wreaking havoc displayed strength in an exciting and Samson-esque way. Surely this was how that brawny man-of-old mowed down all those miserable Philistines? Certainly David showed a similar liveliness when he smote Goliath? Even Esther, slip of a girl though she may have been, must have had an intensity that could have inflated a hot-water bottle till it exploded?

When I reflect on Isaiah 40:29-31, my mind earnestly tries to consider it’s encouragements in an enlightened, grown-up way.  The furrowed brow of a tough decision, the pious resolution to do the right thing…of course these everyday tests require God’s strength.  But my mind continuously drifts to those mighty men and their wanton skills.  Is it possible that God had something a little more robust in mind when He inspired these immortal words?  Certainly the thought of attacking the enemy of our souls with similar ferocity, his lies broken into small gritty fragments under the crushing blow of God’s Word, holds a sort of charm?

Pastor Dustin

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Filed under aiming at heaven, funny ha ha, I love my husband, more like Him, rad shizzz, right?

Hipster Kids

It’s inevitable, our baby is going to be one of those hipster kids.

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Look at that kid on the right, he’s got Dustin written all over him.

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Filed under BABY, I love my husband, in my opionation, Nerd Alert!, rad shizzz, right?, rockin' out

Baby Update: Week 9

our_baby_is_the_size_of_a_strawberry

From WebMd:

Congratulations, Kate! You’re Nine Weeks Pregnant. Your embryo
measures about 0.9 inches to 1.2 inches from crown to rump, or the size of a strawberry. The arms and legs are getting longer, and the fingers might be a little swollen where the touch pads are forming. The head is more erect and the neck is more developed. Your baby now moves its body and limbs, and this movement can be visible during an ultrasound, but you won’t be able to feel it yet. Your uterus is continuing to grow, and your waistline is thickening. But unless you tell people the good news, your pregnancy still won’t be noticeable to others. Weight gain is small, if at all, since you could be experiencing food aversions (or cravings), heartburn, indigestion, nausea and bloating. Mood swings and weepiness similar to PMS symptoms are also common.

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Filed under BABY, I love my husband, Life and Marriage, Nerd Alert!, rad shizzz, right?

It’s about Process not Perfection

Dustin and I had an amazing conversation today about what we are both learning (with help from the Holy Spirit and Celebrate Recovery). Dustin was explaining how all his life he thought if he could just take care of sins, maybe not every sin, but at lease some, then he could lessen the weight that would hinder a closer walk with God. Like heavy stones tied to our necks, we drag ourselves along, hoping for some relief and an easier walk with Christ. In this struggle there is lack of true relationship with Christ. We try to tell ourselves it is all FOR the relationship, but the truth is it is all for perfection. We want the perfection so we can enjoy the relationship. We want to feel worthy to be called into unity with such a holy, perfect Lord. We want to feel justified and the only way to do this is to be rid of all sin, to somehow accomplish being sin-free, on our own.

We (or maybe I) have confused perfection with relationship. I have thought, this is all for YOU Jesus. My hearts desire is to be like you, to be a worthy vessel. I want the CONTROL of perfection, I want to be in charge of the steps of reaching this “perfection”. Instead Christ is calling us to join Him in the process. The process of looking at these past hurts, the past really bad choices and offenses; seeing how they effect my everyday decisions that ultimately lead to everyday sins. HE says to us, “let Me be in charge of the process. Let Me free you from the bondage of perfectionism. Let Me heal you from the past and establish your future.”

A process is about: relationship, unity, teamwork, honesty, setting and achieving goals, growing together, learning together, going deeper together.

Perfectionism is about: isolation, frustration, exhaustion, anger, resentment, an unattainable goal.

God is asking me, us, to surrender the perfectionism. Submit to the process and let Him reign over the changes and character adjustments that need to be made. He is asking for relationship. He is asking for honesty. He is asking to be let in.

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”

Revelation 3:20

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Filed under aiming at heaven, currently reading/listening to, I love my husband, in my opionation, Life and Marriage, more like Him, my husband loves me, rad shizzz, right?, rockin' out