Category Archives: Life and Marriage

I’m a music box and you’re the song inside.

I haven’t blogged very much since finding out I was pregnant. The thoughts and feelings are so deep and so many that I haven’t even known where to begin. This morning I woke up remembering what lies ahead in the day–boy or girl?? I finally sat down and wrote out some thoughts that I’d thought I could share. It’s an intimate glimpse, but one that I think you could appreciate.

How will it all look? How will I handle the hard times? Can I love enough-deep enough? Can I be devoted enough? Can I sacrifice enough? Will the good truly outweigh the bad? Will the lack of sleep drive me to distance myself from others? Will my wonderful, perfect marriage become dull and full of daily chores and exhaustion?

Will I lose a sense of myself-the young me, the artistic me, the adventurous and a bit crazy me? Will it all be taken over, like some alien abduction where I return as a “Mom”, robotic and set in a routine?

No amount of planning, praying and waiting could have possibly answered these questions. They are deep and surrounding.

It’s all been an idea of a baby-a concept. On paper it all seemed so simple. I just want a baby. Now all I really know is that I am almost 15 pounds heavier, it looks like I have a globe of the world stuck under my shirt and I can barely roll over in bed at night. It’s become a mystery, like looking into a deep ocean and seeing shapes of what lies just beneath the surface. Even when I look to others who have gone ahead of me in this craziness, I still feel a vagueness about the whole thing. No amount of books or friends can make me feel “ready”.

In about 2 hours we will find out if you are made of sugar and spice or snails and puppy dog tails. It will be another step in the reality of YOU. A person, not an idea or an event to plan for. A person with dreams, with hurts, fears, desires and accomplishments. A person who will be brave, loving, full of questions and unspoken hopes. You will grow, you will explore. You will struggle. You will be unpredictable. You will love Jesus. Your daddy will be your hero and your best friend will be Ripley. You will fish with grandpa, you will take walks with grandma. You will be spoiled by Aunt Mary and go camping with Uncle Henry. You will taste fruit and climb mountains. You will play in piles of yellow leaves and splash in puddles after rain storms. You will scrap your knees and find comfort in my arms.You’ll laugh and splash in the bath and I’ll wrap you up in a towel with your little wet head poking out. You will be the most loved, the most cherish, the most beautifully perfect-and you will be all mine.

I want the world for you, my baby. And no amount of questions or fears will ever change that.

I can’t wait to meet you.

btw- you are a BOY!!!

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Filed under aiming at heaven, BABY, I love my husband, Life and Marriage, life questions, music, So it begins...

Ch-ch-ch-ch Changes (turn and face the strain)

People deal with change in their very own, unique way. Some people truly hate it, some people get all giddy over it. I am the kind of person who acts like I hate it but inside I am secretly all giddy.

Everyday I get to know myself a bit more. This time I have discovered that I actually really enjoy change, even if it’s scary or uncertain. I feel all excited that something is stirring and I am a part of it. I can always see the positives of the change. Always.  Unfortunately somewhere along the way I have picked up a bad habit of acting really stressed and complaining about it the whole time.  Why do I do this? I don’t know. It makes no sense. Maybe now that I see the truth, that I love change, I can stop pretending to despise it and start receiving it with giddiness and positivity.

Naive? Yeah, maybe. Oh well, I’ve definitely never said I wasn’t naive.

As David Bowie said:

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I’m going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock ‘n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you’re gonna get a little older

David_Bowie

More about these changes next week…

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Filed under aiming at heaven, BABY, church stuff, currently reading/listening to, in my opionation, Life and Marriage, life questions, right?, rockin' out, So it begins...

Baby Update: Week 9

our_baby_is_the_size_of_a_strawberry

From WebMd:

Congratulations, Kate! You’re Nine Weeks Pregnant. Your embryo
measures about 0.9 inches to 1.2 inches from crown to rump, or the size of a strawberry. The arms and legs are getting longer, and the fingers might be a little swollen where the touch pads are forming. The head is more erect and the neck is more developed. Your baby now moves its body and limbs, and this movement can be visible during an ultrasound, but you won’t be able to feel it yet. Your uterus is continuing to grow, and your waistline is thickening. But unless you tell people the good news, your pregnancy still won’t be noticeable to others. Weight gain is small, if at all, since you could be experiencing food aversions (or cravings), heartburn, indigestion, nausea and bloating. Mood swings and weepiness similar to PMS symptoms are also common.

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Filed under BABY, I love my husband, Life and Marriage, Nerd Alert!, rad shizzz, right?

BIG NEWS!!!

Dustin and I are having a GroeneBABY!!!

baby_at_7_weeks

After a little bit of a struggle and testing of our faith, which you can read about here and here, we are officially 7 weeks pregnant.  YAY!!!!!!! The picture above is from our Dr’s appointment yesterday where we saw the heartbeat for the first time.

Just a little flicker on a monitor and it means our whole world has changed forever.

There is a verse that is close to my heart for all those who are going through what we experienced. I hope it encourages you today.

“What a wonderful God we have-he is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the source of every mercy, and the one who so wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials.

And why does he do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us.”

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

God is so faithful.

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Filed under aiming at heaven, BABY, Life and Marriage, love and marriage., my husband loves me, rad shizzz, right?, rockin' out

Blog Birthday!

Today is the one year birthday of ThatGirlKate. Last year a group of blogging friends: Mark, Judi, and Josh Brage convinced me to give it a go. 180 posts and 50,000 hits later, this little blog has come a long way in just a year. Yes, most of those hits are from people searching “Lorenzo Lamas” or “pee pants” but still, they are hits, right Judi?

Blogging is an art form that is intimidating, alluring and challenging all at once, and it’s the author who is putting that kind of pressure on themselves. Just like any other art form, it takes time to grow and find your voice. Looking back over the last year of posts, I am a little stunned at some of the things I shared, some good and some bad. We all know what it’s like to post something that you regret, but that comes with the territory. You learn and move on. I am amazed at some of the posts that ended up being a real encouragement to others in their walk with Christ, making the scary transparency and vulnerability totally worth it. If God wants to use my insecurities, my downfalls and my questions to strengthen someone else, then so be it.

This year has been one of the hardest I have ever faced in my life. There have been some very dark, stormy seas. My prayer is that by 2nd birthday of my blog it will be filled with stories of life, hope, joy, miracles and maybe even a little new edition to our family. Something that we have been believing and praying for for a year and a half.

Thanks for reading my silly, little blog. I love each of you so much.

ThatGirlKate

guard-cat

Here is some of my favorite posts from this past year.

My hall of fame, if you will.

Snapshots from my childhood

Adrian Sudbury

Little Katy’s Summer To Do List

Music That Changed My Life

Chubby Girl vs Giant Pancake

Sleeping Man in Foyer

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Filed under aiming at heaven, arteest, i love cats. so what?, in my opionation, Life and Marriage, more like Him, my friends., my husband loves me, right?

a little story about coyotes

Dustin and I were driving home the other day. When traffic is really bad on I-25 we take a back way that goes through a field and pass a golf course. We were driving with fields on both sides of us and saw a coyote on the side of the road, in the middle of the day, barking and howling with his nose straight up like some Santa Fe sculpture. We were surprised to see him sitting so close to the street with lots of cars passing and even some people walking by. We slowed down a little and rolled down the window to hear him howling. We turned the corner and saw across the field another coyote walking quickly toward the howling coyote. We noticed that the coyote coming from across the filed was limping badly and couldn’t wait to get to the howling friend. We watched them reunite, licking each others faces, and they headed off together down into a ravine.

There really isn’t a point to this story. I guess I could try and spiritualize it somehow, but it would make it even more cheesy. Actually, now that I think about it, this blog post kind of sucks. I guess you had to be there.

coyotes_reuniting

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Filed under funny ha ha, i am feeling feisty., in my opionation, Life and Marriage, Nerd Alert!, right?, sad stuff

It’s about Process not Perfection

Dustin and I had an amazing conversation today about what we are both learning (with help from the Holy Spirit and Celebrate Recovery). Dustin was explaining how all his life he thought if he could just take care of sins, maybe not every sin, but at lease some, then he could lessen the weight that would hinder a closer walk with God. Like heavy stones tied to our necks, we drag ourselves along, hoping for some relief and an easier walk with Christ. In this struggle there is lack of true relationship with Christ. We try to tell ourselves it is all FOR the relationship, but the truth is it is all for perfection. We want the perfection so we can enjoy the relationship. We want to feel worthy to be called into unity with such a holy, perfect Lord. We want to feel justified and the only way to do this is to be rid of all sin, to somehow accomplish being sin-free, on our own.

We (or maybe I) have confused perfection with relationship. I have thought, this is all for YOU Jesus. My hearts desire is to be like you, to be a worthy vessel. I want the CONTROL of perfection, I want to be in charge of the steps of reaching this “perfection”. Instead Christ is calling us to join Him in the process. The process of looking at these past hurts, the past really bad choices and offenses; seeing how they effect my everyday decisions that ultimately lead to everyday sins. HE says to us, “let Me be in charge of the process. Let Me free you from the bondage of perfectionism. Let Me heal you from the past and establish your future.”

A process is about: relationship, unity, teamwork, honesty, setting and achieving goals, growing together, learning together, going deeper together.

Perfectionism is about: isolation, frustration, exhaustion, anger, resentment, an unattainable goal.

God is asking me, us, to surrender the perfectionism. Submit to the process and let Him reign over the changes and character adjustments that need to be made. He is asking for relationship. He is asking for honesty. He is asking to be let in.

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”

Revelation 3:20

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Filed under aiming at heaven, currently reading/listening to, I love my husband, in my opionation, Life and Marriage, more like Him, my husband loves me, rad shizzz, right?, rockin' out