Category Archives: So it begins…

I’m a music box and you’re the song inside.

I haven’t blogged very much since finding out I was pregnant. The thoughts and feelings are so deep and so many that I haven’t even known where to begin. This morning I woke up remembering what lies ahead in the day–boy or girl?? I finally sat down and wrote out some thoughts that I’d thought I could share. It’s an intimate glimpse, but one that I think you could appreciate.

How will it all look? How will I handle the hard times? Can I love enough-deep enough? Can I be devoted enough? Can I sacrifice enough? Will the good truly outweigh the bad? Will the lack of sleep drive me to distance myself from others? Will my wonderful, perfect marriage become dull and full of daily chores and exhaustion?

Will I lose a sense of myself-the young me, the artistic me, the adventurous and a bit crazy me? Will it all be taken over, like some alien abduction where I return as a “Mom”, robotic and set in a routine?

No amount of planning, praying and waiting could have possibly answered these questions. They are deep and surrounding.

It’s all been an idea of a baby-a concept. On paper it all seemed so simple. I just want a baby. Now all I really know is that I am almost 15 pounds heavier, it looks like I have a globe of the world stuck under my shirt and I can barely roll over in bed at night. It’s become a mystery, like looking into a deep ocean and seeing shapes of what lies just beneath the surface. Even when I look to others who have gone ahead of me in this craziness, I still feel a vagueness about the whole thing. No amount of books or friends can make me feel “ready”.

In about 2 hours we will find out if you are made of sugar and spice or snails and puppy dog tails. It will be another step in the reality of YOU. A person, not an idea or an event to plan for. A person with dreams, with hurts, fears, desires and accomplishments. A person who will be brave, loving, full of questions and unspoken hopes. You will grow, you will explore. You will struggle. You will be unpredictable. You will love Jesus. Your daddy will be your hero and your best friend will be Ripley. You will fish with grandpa, you will take walks with grandma. You will be spoiled by Aunt Mary and go camping with Uncle Henry. You will taste fruit and climb mountains. You will play in piles of yellow leaves and splash in puddles after rain storms. You will scrap your knees and find comfort in my arms.You’ll laugh and splash in the bath and I’ll wrap you up in a towel with your little wet head poking out. You will be the most loved, the most cherish, the most beautifully perfect-and you will be all mine.

I want the world for you, my baby. And no amount of questions or fears will ever change that.

I can’t wait to meet you.

btw- you are a BOY!!!



Filed under aiming at heaven, BABY, I love my husband, Life and Marriage, life questions, music, So it begins...

Ch-ch-ch-ch Changes (turn and face the strain)

People deal with change in their very own, unique way. Some people truly hate it, some people get all giddy over it. I am the kind of person who acts like I hate it but inside I am secretly all giddy.

Everyday I get to know myself a bit more. This time I have discovered that I actually really enjoy change, even if it’s scary or uncertain. I feel all excited that something is stirring and I am a part of it. I can always see the positives of the change. Always.  Unfortunately somewhere along the way I have picked up a bad habit of acting really stressed and complaining about it the whole time.  Why do I do this? I don’t know. It makes no sense. Maybe now that I see the truth, that I love change, I can stop pretending to despise it and start receiving it with giddiness and positivity.

Naive? Yeah, maybe. Oh well, I’ve definitely never said I wasn’t naive.

As David Bowie said:

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I’m going through

(Turn and face the strain)
Oh, look out you rock ‘n rollers
(Turn and face the strain)
Pretty soon you’re gonna get a little older


More about these changes next week…


Filed under aiming at heaven, BABY, church stuff, currently reading/listening to, in my opionation, Life and Marriage, life questions, right?, rockin' out, So it begins...

A New Edition to the Family

You can call me and Dustin the saviours of one precious little guinea pig. Someone didn’t want him/her (neither one of us has offered to check on the gender quite yet) and dumped him in the parking lot of our apartment complex. We decided not the let the poor thing freeze to death or be eaten by coyotes. So we grabbed a hat box, yes I have a hat box, I don’t know why, and we chased it down. No one claimed the pig so he is officially ours, he is now a Groeneman.


We named him Moz, after the great Morrissey. Moz was stinky and we gave him a bath. Dustin styled his hair into a tiny fo-hawk. As Morrissey would say, “I do maintain that if your hair is wrong, your entire life is wrong”.

For all who are wondering, Ripley doesn’t even seem to care that there is another animal living in his house. He stares at it, not like hunting it, more like annoyed with it. I think they will eventually be friends.


Filed under new stuff, So it begins...

My LOST Season 5 theories:


Josh (Kevlar Beard) posted his thoughts on the new season of LOST. I have a few myself and thought I would steal, I mean borrow his idea and post my own:

*At the end of the season premier we see the woman who sold Desmond the engagement ring in season 3. She is mapping out the location of the island using some pendulum and tells Ben that they only have a window of 60 hours until the island moves again and they must get all Oceanic 6 plus John Locke back to the island in that time. I think she is the woman who Faraday tells Desmond to find at Oxford, but we’ll see about that.

*Everyone of the island seems to be connected in some way. Maybe this makes them each (without them knowing it) each other’s constants. ??? I don’t know…

*Sun meets with Kate and tells her that she does not blame her for Jin’s death. She said she blamed 2 people for Jin’s death- we know her father is one of those people after she takes over his company.  It’s looking like the other person is Jack. Will this lead to some kind of revenge?

*Locke is not actually dead at all, he is in some sleep like state. That is why Ben has the butcher keep an eye on him.  Maybe it took John Locke “dying” to kick Jack into wanting to go back to the island. Ben knew this and set it all up.

*If Kate is returning to the island does this mean that her and Sawyer may end up together in the end? I think the Kate and Jack love story is not going to work, and instead of Kate having to decide who to be with, either Jack or Sawyer will die.

*In Season 6 I think there will be a major show-down between Ben and Widmore. One or both will die, and the island will remain a mysterious place for someone else to eventually find.


Filed under LOST, Nerd Alert!, new stuff, rad shizzz, right?, So it begins...

Party Like a Groeneman



Filed under funny ha ha, i am feeling feisty., love and marriage., Nerd Alert!, rad shizzz, rockin' out, So it begins...

Sailing on a Ship

I have a friend who is going through Celebrate Recovery. We don’t attend together, but there is a certain comradarie for those of us going through the program. Recently I made a “Recovery Mix” of songs that I felt God was using to encourage me and speak to me while I drudge through the 12 steps. I passed the mix on to my friend and in return he made a mix for me that he is listening to while he goes through recovery. Every song on the mix speaks to me, but the first song is the best. It perfectly describes how I feel as I obediently walk through the program and work the steps, it is able to put into words what I can’t and I want to share it with you.

A voice is on the wind
It calls me further in
I’m heading deeper into Your heart
Your mark is on my chest
My sails filled with your breath
You guide me by the light of the stars

I’m sailing on a ship that’s bound for life
I wrestle with the wind against the tide
I leave it all behind to reach for more
I’m sailing on to Your golden shore

Though skies go blue to grey
And I’m thrown from wave to wave
You still will hear these lungs singing hard
With every storm I face
I find a greater grace
That pulls me deeper into Your heart

I’m sailing on a ship that’s bound for life
I wrestle with the wind against the tide
I leave it all behind to reach for more
I’m sailing on

To where the water’s running sweet and bright
The sun is rising in the eastern sky
I leave it all behind to reach for more
I’m sailing on to Your golden shore

Phil Wickham

Sailing on a Ship


Filed under aiming at heaven, currently reading/listening to, fall is beginning, Life and Marriage, music, new stuff, rockin' out, So it begins...

Summer 2008: Best Summer Ever compilation!!!

For those in our “Best Summer Ever” pact we have decided to create a compilation that encompasses the long summer nights and our crazy adventures together. Everyone can contribute one song to the mix so you better make it good. Reply to this post with your vote and I will gather all the songs and create the CD’s for us.

I am still thinking about my contribution… choosing only one song is a lot of pressure!


Filed under currently reading/listening to, Life and Marriage, rad shizzz, So it begins...